I was talking with my mom today about how while Lindsey was gone for a week (just a week), I lost it. I suddenly wanted to go Mr. Hyde on everyone and return to my old vices. Yet yesterday there was a moment when she was straightening out her dress and stepping into her heels. She turned and looked me right in the eyes and smiled and it all came rushing back. That’s my girl. My future wife. The mother to my children. The old gray haired lady rocking in the chair next to me. As I write this foggy eyed from tears in Starbucks looking crazy I think about how selfish I have been lately by being upset with her recent issues. I should be grateful for every second I have her in my life, because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be here much longer. I’d drink myself to death and lose it some night like I tried to a year ago. She saved me and just seeing her smile, not her forced smile, but her goofy true smile, that is what reminds me of what I am so lucky to have. I have a girl who had all my best interests, who worries constantly for me and just wants me to be happy. I love her and I need her. She is the number one priority in my life and I need to remind her.
So when my mom and I talked about all this, she told me how every time my dad goes on a business trip, she gets giddy every time she picks him up at the airport. She said it just reminds her how lucky she is and how happy she is that she has him in her life. She said it was the same for me and Lindsey and that that is true love.
I’m excited to go back to the courthouse days. So lets take it day by day and tempt ourselves every morning to get dressed up and step into the future. Lets laugh more, cry less and enjoy all that we have. I am so in love with you Lindsey and I promise to keep life spontaneous and I promise to keep you happy. See you on the steps of city hall.